In the interest of not being labeled a hermit, tonight I attended a dinner in honor of a friend's birthday. Given the fact that this friend is part of a couple who have two small children, I knew I would be walking into a proverbial parenthood lion's den. I force myself to take part in these events from time to time (when I can stomach the prospect) because, after all, the picture I have in my mind is certainly worse that the real situation, right? I wish. To set the scene, the guests included myself, the aforementioned couple, another couple with one small child and one on the way - although she hasn't bothered to tell me she's pregnant and she is well aware of our situation, a friend of the bday girl who attended solo because her husband was home with their sick child, and another couple who know the bday girl and her husband solely because their children go to the same daycare. My only savior was my best friend who lives with her boyfriend and isn't (as far as I know) planning on procreating any time soon. In short, I spent tonight in the 5th circle of hell, better known as a restaurant in St. Paul. The conversation swirling around me went something like this: "blah blah blah baby blah blah daycare blah blah blah breastfeeding, blah blah pregnancy blah blah blah kids blah blah Dora the Explorer..." Apparently once a child enters your life it is the ONLY topic permitted to be discussed when in the presence of other adults. Husband was unable to come with me so I suffered the above with only one glass of wine to soothe the savage beast that was attempting to claw its way out of me all night. How I wish the Twin Cities had a better public transportation system! The whole time I kept thinking of the Sesame Street or Electric Company (I forget which and I am dating myself) song where "one of these kids is doing her own thing" and you have to guess which character isn't like the others and why. I might as well have worn a big blinky barren sign to dinner...it would have been less obvious than my blatant inability to return any of the conversational volleys bouncing past me as I sat in silence and studied my salad. Given my stress level when the bill finally came, I'm not sure it's worth it to subject myself to these "festivities" even as often as I do. After all, life as a hermit must have other benefits besides saving money and greatly limiting the urge to run screaming from restaurants. I promise I will read this post the next time an Evite shows up in my inbox.
3 comments:
Ah, how perfectly you've captured so many of my encounters in the proverbial parenthood lion's den. Thanks for making me feel less alone in the experience!
P.S. It's definitely Sesame Street! Full lyrics here: http://members.tripod.com/tiny_dancer/one.html
OUCH! Not a good time. Probably good that you only had one glass of wine though. Another and you could have been well on your way to imploding.
I love the Sesame Song playing through your head. So perfect. I came by with the Key Lime Pie martini and ended up laughing so I spilled it. Sorry--need to go back to the bar and pour another.
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