Words to keep me sane

Sometimes the only action you can take is to let go.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The beginning (sort of)

It's funny to think that after all this time I am considering this a new beginning of sorts. That's the thing about infertility - with each new development or discovery you can almost trick yourself into feeling rebooted...like whatever came before has been (at least temporarily) shelved in light of the next attempt or the next treatment. Of course past history must be taken into account because it is the basis for the new, but the old hurts and disappointments are allowed to mellow and settle while the focus remains forward. Onward and upward I always say. So the new beginning is represented both by this blog and by the fact that at present Husband and I are honing in on our first IVF cycle. For the sake of clarity, a bit about how we got here. As anyone who discovered their own infertility monster under (or in) the bed knows, the "story" can get very long, drawn out, and convoluted. In a very tiny nutshell then I offer the following:

  • Married at 25, husband was 26 and had a son from a previous relationship
  • Started "trying" one year into marriage. Irregular cycles
  • First pregnancy on Clomid, March 2002. M/C at about 5 weeks
  • Began seeing RE in 2003
  • Second pregnancy on Clomid with IUI July 2003. HCG levels never got off the ground
  • Third pregnancy on injectables with IUI September 2003. Same as above
  • Endo, possible PCOS...RE didn't seem overly concerned. Out of covered IUI cycles. On the bench
  • Fourth pregnancy all on our own, September 2005. Ectopic. Surgery to remove pregnancy, tube OK
  • Fifth pregnancy all on our own, June 2006. HCG levels never got off the ground
  • Sixth pregnancy all on our own, April 2007. HCG levels indicate ectopic. Methotrexate

So, here we are. The "e" word seems to be our achilles heel as RE suspects most or all of these embryos have not made their way to the proper place. Given all this we are now *gulp* turning over the daunting and hairy IVF leaf. We are currently in prelimary testing to see if we qualify for the magic "shared risk" program that will provide some sense of a safety net. We'll see what happens.

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