I am lucky to have found a group of local, supportive women who unfortunately are also weathering the storm of infertility. Last spring I took a class called Mind/Body for Fertility and Family Building, taught by a local psychologist. Possibly even more valuable than the relaxation techniques we learned or the cognitive exercises we did were the connections we made with each other. My class was made up of fourteen ladies whose lives have all been touched/altered/impacted (I'm sure other verbs apply) by infertility. Class lasted ten weeks, but since then we have continued to come together to talk, commiserate, and generally support each other on our journeys. We got together again last Wednesday in what has become our good weather meeting spot - a local city park with a restaurant - to catch up on each others' lives. Some of the women have become pregnant (ironically mine was the first pregnancy in our class, and also the first miscarriage). Others are in the process of adopting. Others have gone through surgery, unsuccessful IVF cycles, and other life struggles. A few of us are about to try IVF for the first time. I will actually be doing my first cycle at the same time and at the same clinic as one of my friends from class. Overall, the members of this group support each other and validate each other's feelings, hopes, and fears. We are different ages and have endured different circumstances but we are all in the same boat. Speaking for myself it has been enormously comforting to be in the presence of these women. At a time in my life when I feel like other friendships and relationships have suffered because I have had to pull back and protect my infertile self, I have had the good fortune to find these friendships. I look forward to our get-togethers because I feel like I don't have to suppress anything or put on the armor I normally wear when in the company of other women my age who have no idea what it feels like to walk under a dark cloud day after day. I am thankful for the difference they have made in my life and my infertility journey. I hope I have been able to help lift them up and make things a little easier for them to bear, too. As the stirrup queens say, "connections abound." I wish the circumstances were different, but I am happy to know them. Between them and the wonderful women I have met in the IF blogosphere, I feel like I have been able to spin a safe cocoon inside a fertile world where I can exist as myself and not feel so alone.
